While emotions run high during a separation and divorce, the best way to become civil is to focus on the big picture. The end goal is to have an idea to expect in your next chapter of life. Try not to get caught up in all the minutiae.
Putting the children first is also a big step for parents. Making decisions that are in the children’s best interest, instead of what mom or dad feels is fair, will usually orient the parties towards a common goal.
Determining the most civil means of communication that works for your family is also a good tip. Some people prefer to have communication in writing so that they can wait until they are calm and have thought through their answer before responding. In other situations, written communication might be a barrier as it lacks context and can come across as aggressive. Again, it is important to figure out what works best for your family.