Is Your Relationship Ready for 2025? The 8 Warning Signs They Might Be Leaving—and 5 Steps to Fix It Before It’s Too Late!

By Anna Maxted, adapted by Russell Alexander Collaborative Family Lawyers  

In my experience as a family lawyer working with separating couples across Ontario, I’ve often heard clients say their partner’s decision to leave came as a complete shock. No warning signs, no arguments, and no apparent conflicts—just bags packed and gone.

The painful reality, however, is that signs of trouble are often present, albeit subtle. Relationship expert Joanna Harrison, author of “Five Arguments All Couples (Need to) Have and Why the Washing Up Matters”, describes these indicators as less dramatic than one might expect.

“The opposite of love isn’t hate—it’s indifference,” she explains. “That’s the real relationship killer.”

Harrison, a former divorce lawyer with nearly two decades of experience counselling couples, identifies eight subtle clues that a partner may be considering leaving. These behaviours might seem small or insignificant in the moment, but they often signal deeper issues. She also offers hope—a five-step process to help couples rebuild their relationships if both parties are willing.

Interestingly, this conversation has gained traction in the UK as a growing trend, and Harrison’s insights provide a helpful framework for both men and women facing similar challenges.

Eight Signs Your Partner May Be Thinking of Leaving

1. They’re Like a Visitor in Your Home

When living together, partnerships thrive on teamwork—sharing responsibilities and tackling daily tasks together. A partner who becomes disengaged and prioritizes their personal fun over shared efforts may be signaling a shift away from the relationship.

2. They’re Spending More Time on Hobbies

Hobbies are healthy, but when one partner starts indulging heavily in personal interests without considering the impact on the family or relationship, it may be a sign they’re envisioning a future outside the marriage.

3. You Don’t Fight Anymore

Arguments, while unpleasant, can indicate that both partners care enough to work through differences. When the fighting stops entirely, it may signal that one person has emotionally checked out of the relationship.

4. Physical Intimacy Declines

Whether it’s a lack of interest in sex or a noticeable decrease in casual affection like holding hands or hugging, these shifts can indicate an emotional or physical detachment.

5. You Sense Emotional Absence

Trust your gut. Long-term partners often intuitively sense when something feels “off,” even if they can’t articulate it.

6. They Avoid Discussions About the Future

Partners typically make plans together, from vacations to retirement. If your partner begins dodging such conversations, it may be because they’re not envisioning a shared future.

7. You Feel Diminished or Unsupported

A partner who consistently criticizes or emotionally withdraws from you may be paving the way for their exit.

8. They’re Secretive or Aloof

Leaving a relationship often involves emotional and logistical preparation. If your partner seems preoccupied or evasive, it may indicate they’re mentally preparing to leave.

What Next? The Five-Step Fix

If these signs resonate and you want to repair the relationship, consider Joanna Harrison’s five-step process:

1. Ask What’s Not Working

  Open the lines of communication and ask your partner directly what’s bothering them. Honest dialogue is essential for rebuilding trust.

2. Reflect and Adjust

Be prepared to take an honest look at your own actions and behaviors. While it’s crucial to make adjustments, never compromise your core values or sense of self.

3. Set New Relationship Rules Together

Discuss what each of you needs to feel valued and connected. This step ensures that both partners have a voice in the process.

4. Make an Effort to Be Attractive

This isn’t just about physical appearance—it’s about showing care for yourself and your partner. Whether it’s dressing up occasionally or investing in shared health goals, small gestures can reignite intimacy.

5. Let Them Go If Necessary

It sounds counterintuitive, but if your partner is determined to leave, allow them the space to do so. Sometimes, distance helps both individuals gain clarity on what they truly want.

When to Walk Away

Not all relationships can—or should—be saved. If your partner refuses to take responsibility, continues to lie, or diminishes your self-worth, it may be time to prioritize your own well-being.

As Harrison wisely points out, ask yourself, “Would I want my children to have this kind of relationship?” If the answer is no, then it may be time to step away.

Final Thoughts

If your partner has left or is showing signs of pulling away, take time to reflect on what you want out of the relationship. Your happiness matters too. While these moments can be deeply painful, they can also offer an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Credit: This article is based on Anna Maxted’s original work. Adapted and expanded for a Canadian audience by Russell Alexander Collaborative Family Lawyers.