In recent years, there has been a significant increase in gray divorce—the term used to describe divorce among older adults, typically those aged 50 and over. Divorce rates among individuals 65 and older have nearly tripled since the 1990s, a striking shift from previous generations when long-term marriages were more likely to last a lifetime.
So, why are more long-term marriages ending later in life? Let’s take a closer look at the gray divorce phenomenon and what’s driving this trend.
What is Gray Divorce?
The term “gray divorce” refers to the increasing number of marital breakups among older couples, particularly those who have been married for decades. The phrase gained popularity as researchers noticed a stark rise in divorces among baby boomers, even as younger generations made different choices regarding marriage and relationships.
Gray divorce often occurs after major life transitions, such as retirement or when children leave home, and is driven by a variety of factors unique to this stage of life. Unlike younger couples who separate due to financial stress, parenting differences, or infidelity, older adults often divorce because they have grown apart or want different things for their later years.
Why Are More Older Adults Getting Divorced?
Several key factors are driving the rise of gray divorce:
- Increased Life Expectancy – People are living longer than ever before, and many are unwilling to spend their remaining years in an unfulfilling marriage. A 65-year-old today can expect to live another 20 years or more. If a marriage is no longer satisfying, many feel they still have time to start fresh.
- Changing Social Norms – Decades ago, divorce carried a heavy stigma, especially for women. Today, society is more accepting of individuals choosing to prioritize their happiness and well-being. Older generations are now more open to the idea of starting over, even after decades of marriage.
- Financial Independence Among Women – Compared to past generations, women today have greater financial independence, education, and career experience. In the past, many women remained in unhappy marriages due to economic dependence. Now, they have the resources and confidence to leave a marriage if they choose.
- No-Fault Divorce Laws – Every province in Canada and state in the U.S. now has no-fault divorce laws, meaning couples no longer need to prove wrongdoing like adultery or cruelty to separate. This has made it easier for older adults to end marriages that are no longer fulfilling without enduring long legal battles.
- The ‘Empty Nest’ Effect – Many couples stay together for the sake of their children. Once the kids grow up and move out, some couples realize they no longer share common interests or emotional connection, leading them to reassess their relationship.
- A Desire for a Fresh Start – Retirement and later years should be a time of personal fulfillment and happiness. Some couples discover that rather than spending this chapter of life together, they would rather pursue separate paths, hobbies, or even new relationships.
The Challenges of Gray Divorce
Divorcing later in life presents unique challenges, particularly when it comes to financial stability. Unlike younger divorcees who have time to rebuild wealth, older individuals must divide retirement savings, pensions, and assets at a stage when earning potential is lower. Other concerns include:
- Spousal support – In long-term marriages, one spouse (often the lower-earning partner) may be entitled to significant spousal support, which can impact both parties’ retirement plans.
- Health insurance and medical costs – Older adults often rely on shared health benefits, making divorce more complicated when it comes to medical coverage.
- Estate planning – Wills, powers of attorney, and inheritance plans may need to be revised after a gray divorce.
What’s Next After Divorce?
Unlike previous generations, many older adults are not afraid to start over. Post-divorce life often includes cohabitation instead of remarriage, as many choose to maintain financial independence while enjoying companionship. Some even opt for “living apart together” relationships—romantic partnerships where each person maintains their own home.
For those struggling with the emotional toll of divorce, therapy and counseling can be valuable tools. Studies show that couples and family therapy significantly improve emotional well-being and adjustment post-divorce.
Final Thoughts
Gray divorce is becoming more common, but it also represents a shift in how society views marriage and personal fulfillment. For many, divorce at an older age is not seen as a failure but as an opportunity to find happiness in later years.
If you’re considering divorce or separation, it’s important to seek legal and financial advice to understand your rights and responsibilities. At Russell Alexander Collaborative Family Lawyers, we help individuals navigate separation with a focus on dignity and fairness.
