When parents separate, decisions about where children live and who makes major life choices become central. Parenting time and decision-making responsibilities (formerly “custody and access”) shape children’s daily routines and long-term wellbeing. In Ontario, the courts prioritize the child’s best interests, but many families can create collaborative parenting plans outside court. This guide explains legal principles, common parenting arrangements, and practical tips for co-parenting effectively.
How Parenting Decisions Affect Children and Families
Parenting arrangements determine a child’s stability, schooling, medical care, and emotional support. Thoughtful planning reduces conflict and helps children adjust to change.
Legal Framework: Best Interests of the Child
Ontario law requires that all decisions about parenting be guided by the child’s best interests. Factors include the child’s needs, the parents’ ability to provide care, the child’s relationships, and any history of family violence.
Defining Parenting Time and Decision-Making
- Parenting time (formerly “access”): the schedule for when the child spends time with each parent.
- Decision-making responsibility (formerly “custody”): who makes major decisions about the child’s education, health, and religion — this can be sole or shared.
Types of Parenting Plans and Schedules
- Primary residence with set parenting time (e.g., weekends, holidays).
- Shared parenting (near-equal time) when both parents can support the child’s routine.
- Bird’s nest or rotating schedules for unique circumstances.
- Include details for school holidays, birthdays, vacations, and communication methods.
How Decisions about Children Are Divided
Parents can agree to:
- Joint decision-making (both parents consult and decide together), or
- Sole decision-making (one parent makes major decisions while the other has parenting time).
- Clear dispute-resolution processes (mediation first, then court if needed) help manage disagreements.
Best Interests Standard: Key Considerations
Courts look at:
- The child’s physical, emotional, and educational needs.
- The child’s relationship with each parent and siblings.
- Each parent’s capacity to care and provide stability.
- Any history of abuse or exposure to family violence.
Handling Disagreements and Modifications
Start with respectful communication and consider mediation or parent-coaching. If arrangements must change, document reasons and seek a court modification when necessary.
Role of Family Courts, Mediators, and Professionals
Mediators, parenting coordinators, and child psychologists can help when communication is strained. Courts step in when safety, severe conflict, or non-compliance make agreement impossible.
Impact of Separation on Children’s Routines
Maintain routines (school, extracurriculars) as much as possible. Reassure children, avoid negative talk about the other parent, and provide consistent rules across homes.
Communication Tips for Co-Parents
- Use written schedules and shared calendars.
- Keep messages brief, respectful, and child-focused.
- Use neutral tools or apps if direct communication triggers conflict.
Resources for Parenting Support
Look for parenting courses, family counsellors, and community supports that help co-parenting and children’s adjustment.
Parenting after separation is hard, but with planning, clear agreements, and child-focused communication, families can create stable, loving arrangements. If you need help drafting a parenting plan or resolving disputes, consult family law professionals.
Want practical templates and tips? Join our free webinar, Parenting Time and Decision-Making Responsibilities, on October 28 at 5PM ET to learn how to build a child-centered parenting plan.
